You Are Likely an Only Child

" height="100" width="100"> At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

new address!

http://entabeni.blogsome.com" title="http://entabeni.blogsome.com" target="_blank"http://entabeni.blogsome.com

update ok!

hm.. for some reason my link won't appear properly. but oh wells, can't be arsed.

if ur reading this, u shld seriously be

STUDYING!!!!!!!!!

or making some money 

or doing some good for the society

or just sleep if u have the chance to! 

As the end of semester draws near, not only is the usual routine of need-to-get-into-the-libr ary mentality settling in. But this semester seems to bring with it alot of uncertainties, a hint of anxiety and a good douse of worries. too many things to think about. what lies ahead?

there seem to be endless possibilities. i could get my PR, get a job. if i don't i can go back to Sg, if i don't i could go somewhere to teach english...one of those work holiday things, travel around and learn new things while i'm still not constrained by work and life responsibilities, if i don't i could get a job somewhere and do post grad part time. yet there seem to be so many constraints and responsibilities that i have take into consideration. with each alternative comes its own set of "consequences". i tend to think too much, but sometimes, i wished i had thought harder before and undo alot of things. life never really goes the way we plan most of the time right huh...

at times i ask myself why do i want to stay here, this question, i havent found an answer to. other times, i do wish i was back in s ingapore with my family nearby, but i also don't wish to be back too. mixed feelings about both.

Having watched cider house rules on tv earlier, i realise suddenly that i kinda miss home. deep down i want mom and grandma and richie to be around nearby. near enough for me to run home to whenever i want. i've realised the pain of losing my grandpa, and i want to cherish every moment i have with the two greatest women in my life.

there are so many things to think about. part and parcel of growing up i know. bear in mind this is not my final semester... i only graduate at the end of year if i do drop arts.. and already i can feel the burden of thoughts creeping up....i'm just glad i have another semester to think it through. really... what lies ahead....

feeling really nostalgic at the moment. i need to sleep.

*bleah* at one too many assignments and presentations

enjoying my new botanical skincare range despite the arm and leg it cost

more realisations about things that irk me

more realisations about the things that i wanna do

scarlett johanssen is beautiful

i really don't want a structured life

i don't know what i want out of this

too many things swimming in my head at any one time

best advice i heard so far: when you don't know what to do, go to sleep

and sleep it is.

Your Birthdate: June 10

Your birth on the 10th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life. The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than you path may have indicated. A birthday on the 10th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.   This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed. You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

feels quite true..hm.....

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

Next sat will be my last shift at work for this semester. Feeling a wee bit torn between this being a good decision anot.

-Pros-

>i get to revert to having more normalised sleeping hours, more time to do my own stuff, study, prepare for exams.

> Shit customers like the one i had last night make me glad that soon it'll be over for abit. 3 customers at a table were waving frantically for my attention while i was zooming all over the place trying to get and place orders down... the place was swarming with people. U'd think that by waving frantically, these customers are probably famished and already have an idea of what they want. Went up to the table.. biggest mistake.

Slutface: "darling, what do u want?"

Bastard: "ooh.. i dunno... (pause 3 mins).... um... maybe a beef burger... (ummmm ahhhh ummmm)... yeah i'll get a beef burger without  tomatoes.

(bastard nudges slutface... tease abit.. smile smile smile.. both looks at me thinking they're the cutest couple.... me just looking straight faced, fuming with anger and dismembering them in my head.)

It took another 3 minutes for slutface to uumm and ahhh her way to make an order for a freaking BANANA SPLIT. *puke blood*.... and another 2 minutes for her to make a wrong order for her bimbotic sidekick, which of course i had to change.

In the span of 15 minutes after taking their order... i was stopped 3 times everytime i walked by the table.. " excuse me.. can i change this, excuse me i want to have the tomato in the beef burger actually... sorry for being a pain (i'm glad u noticed).... excuse me.. are u sure this is the CORRECT ice cream flavour. u know what? FUCK YOU.

-Cons-

> $ gone. need $ for Cairns trip.. need $ for shopping, need $ for fatty oily food. $$$$$ can't do without them

> possible deprivation of male attention. I am a male attention seeking whore. that part i admit. who doesn't enjoy the attention right? hahaha, it pays to be the only asian chick at work. looking sweet young and innocent when i put my hair up. All the hitting on me gets on my nerves sometimes.. but i'm not complaining =)

> possible weight gain. there goes my weekly cardio routine... i bet i do like 10 kilometres everynight i work running ard the cafe. not to mention my weights session... lifting those plates and all.

Ah wells....

anyways, i've realised that my tolerance level for impractical people (such as the slutfaces/bastard/bimbos mentioned above). as well as people who can't take pride in what they do, people who think the world revolves around them, people who are just plain 'nua' (hokkien for...uber slack).. yes my tolerance level for these  people are at an all time low. Or rather, sometimes it seems that my expectations for these people are getting higher. Sometimes i wish  i could tie them up and give them a good "shaking"... telling them to wake up their senses and celebrate life. tsk....

-pmsing-

the thought just crossed my mind - whatever happened to my passion for reading? ok... passion maybe a tad too strong a word to use. i do admit that when it comes to reading, i'm not the most well read person u'll know. but hey, i've had my fair share of enid blyton, sidney sheldon, michael crichton, lisa scottoline and a 30 seconds phase of mills and boons stuff. yup, i dont read or rarely get my hands on any literature books or artsy fartsy or philosophical stuff.

Although i'm proud to say that i'm a religious reader of cosmopolitan and cleo. i like a good mindless read that doesn't require me to think and is colourful (think shit-read). but these days, even reading magazines become a chore. i randomly flip through the colourful pages, oogle at the air brushed bodies of models and celebrity, read up abit on gossips and skip any articles that contain more than 3 paragraphs (ok, this i attribute to the fact that the cosmo editors worldwide tend to recycle their articles... say USA features this in Feb, then the same article will appear in OZ cosmo in may... u get the gist; and also to laziness and to the fact that i can already summarise what the article will be about without reading it... c'mon... years of reading cosmo.. u see the trend in topics: sex - how to reach the female orgasm, how to please your man, findning ur g-spot, kamasutra, is my vagina normal/ relationship - decoding the male, how to prevent emotional shutdown, is he the one, he's just not that into you/ body - how to get that fab ab in 3 wks, new low carb diets, exercises that will get u abs like fergie from black eyed peas, are you an emotional eater/ fashion & beauty - how to bring ur officewear to night, latest celebrity endorsements, how to get the sexy i-just-rolled-out-of-bed hair, splurges vs savers....and the list goes on) * omg i cannot believe i just summarised 12 months worth of cosmo/cleo without having to pause to think * anyways, thats not the point. the point is, what happened to my passion for reading? nevermind the storybooks. nevermind the cosmo turned mindless shit read. It just suddenly hit me that i should seriously start to embrace my readers like the way i religious flip through magazines. i mean... ask me the latest trend on the catwalks or the latest celebrity gossip (did u hear that the  mary kate of the olsen twins, despite being well dressed most of the time has been labelled "bobo" instead of "boho"... ha.. as if those massive layers of boho chic fashion can cover the fact that she's trying to hide her tiny frame).. ah see... ya, ask me that and i can tell it to u flat without flinching. ask me about focouldian theory.... um.... ahh.... thats by that guy focoult right... french if i'm not wrong... uh... ya... haha.. we talk abt that in tutes.... now where was i?

Yes... only in times like this when i have the weekend (well.. 24 hours... after taking into account work on sat) to read, plan and write my public policy essay then i sit there, and realise that i really ought to learn to make peace with my readers (although it is hard trying to stop myself from painting my nails a shade of bogota blackberry by OPI).

God... i'm sucha shallow whore...ok.. too strong a word... ummm... how bout bimbo in the makes? I've got the brains... got the resources, got the time, but i choose to only allocate 0.01% of my brain juice to uni.. and the rest to god knows what. U know what i need? i know what i need. all i need is the determination to stay grounded. to prioritise my studies, and to just sit down and read the good old readers and textbooks and do my tutorials. now... what was it that i need again?

i think the voice of michael buble inspires me. its so soothing...so mellow. hooked on "home" from his latest album "its time".... "home'' just blew me away. so addictive. so inspiring. his voice just makes my room feels like inspirational-work-in-pro gress zone. that explains for the this long long post. so before i start more researching, lemme just lose myself in his soulful voice.

i am very unhappy about Straitstimes Interactive becoming a pay-to-view website. economy is bad i know. its not a premium price to pay i know. but what about singaporeans abroad who would like to be updated about local news? do u even care? think about the inconvenience.

i'm having one of those "wish i had an extra week" moments right now. easter break's officially over with no work accomplished.

over the week...i really can't remember what  i did or did not do.. but roughly:

-went for my buddhist meeting (being religious)

-had a Girl's night in at my place (ate and ate)

-worked (needed the $. good week and couple of fun moments)

-went for a dip @ carlton baths given the nice weather

-shopped

and.... i really can't remember. all i remembered was i have very little time and now that the hols over, i want to be able to sleep at least 9 hours a day... altho sadly... i shld stick to a 6 hour routine (TRY at least).... get started on my mid-terms and essays... and hit the gym eh....

Oh.. pics from girls' night in : http://community.webshots.com/user/entabeni" title="http://community.webshots.com/user/entabeni" target="_blank"http://community.webshots.com...

on another note, i was looking at some old family pics that i brought over. reminiscence... the good times that we had before... got me thinking abit about how time and circumstances can cause so much change. i'm missing home.... yet i don't miss home... haha weird feeling... but i could use a good home cooked meal made by grandma right now.

feeling a little slack right now too. i think i'm in a rut. so used to my work and uni schedule that life seems a tad too repetitive for me. read from a link from a friend's blog that somehow most of us think that the other person next to u has a more fascinating life than u have. i'm one of those. hm...... feeling quite bored (despite the amt of work i have piling up waiting to be striked off the list)...

clearly i'm feeeling un-inspired... incoherent babblings... but what the hell.. i say what i feel like saying.

to the man who taught me humility, patience, kindness, generosity and unconditional love, I miss you.

for all the nights that you stayed up rocking my cradle so that i can sleep

for attending my first day of kindergarten with me and having to stand outside the window for the whole day just so i will stop crying

for walking me to and fro primary school, shielding me from the scorching sun

for making me the most delicious wanton noodles whenever i'm hungry

for waking up early to buy me breakfast rain or shine

for the time you had a terrible fall and scraped your elbow just to keep up with me running for the schoolbus

for being supportive of me all the time

for never losing your temper at me

and for all the little things you do just to make me smile...

you will always be my dearest grandfather and i love you.

I wish i was there to give you one last hug

Happy 21st Birthday Sindy leng loi!

Wish u pretty pretty prettier, happy and optimistic at all times and may all ur wishes and dreams come true!

ps: hope u got my sms and card. *miss u*

Today

quite a productive day, i actually got up at 9am and was in the library by 11am...mananged to read 1 chapter for Financial Accounting and prepared for my tute before heading to Camberwell for lunch. Was a mad rush after lecture at 7.15 to Crown to watch Hitch... good flick....wasn't fantastic but it was easy to watch and good for a laugh. good enough on a monday for me. Pigged out at Grecos afterwards. the last time i was at Grecos was so long ago i can't even recall. Service was bad. I swear, after being a waitress myself, i'm really quite critical when it comes to substandard service. not that i'm a top notch waitress myself, but notties is just a cafe and for a cafe, our service is alright... except for a few bad days when its just toooo busy. So when i pay premium price, i expect a good service as well. Anways, stuffed a chicken parma (bad choice... it sucks at Grecos) and Chocolate cheesecake and loads of chips.... still eating way too much potatoes... am so full now i can't even breathe. i'm really supposed to be preparing for my tute now but thought i'd better write something before the week passes by again.

the weekend came and went again. but it was a good one tho.

Friday

Caught up with 2 sassy ladies whom i havent' seen in ages. had dinner in kimchi house (i still prefer sen) and later went to the arthouse, a local pub for a gig... had some bands playing there, seeing those people on stage doing what they're passionate about, i suddenly realise that i don't know what my passion lies anymore (deep thoughts...still thinking). There's some great bands there, but the most enjoyable of the night had to be Mach Pelican and The Suns. Mach Pelican's made up of 3 jap dudes, whose music was what i call Happy Rock... haha rock music that brings a smile to ur face...apparently this band's really quite popular among the underground scene in Taiwan. The Suns's a band from Singapore... 3 singaporean dudes...that really make really good music...good old rock and roll with a hint of reggae and some asian flavour.. they even played this hokkien song called 1 to 1 ai mai.. hahaha, it was damn hilarious and the aussies love it. I'm so proud of them....good music and friendly bandmembers... would love to hear them live again.

Saturday

I had my first ride on a motorbike! Couple of workmates who ride motorbikes decide to meet up for lunch at St. Kilda since it was a nice sunny wkend... and one of them decide to take me on a ride on his new bike. was a great experience. don't think i'll be brave enough to ride one on the road myself even if i do get the license... but it was great fun. lunch was beatiful. pity i had to work at night, but was a good night at work as well.

Sunday

Rest and relax... finally a day to myself.. had my first homecooked meal in eons (thanks to lid) and basically just chilled out on the couch and munched away.

Currently:

listening to: Gavin DeGraw's I don't want to be... i'm in this phase again... can't get enough of this song.

Trying to: cut down on potatoes and work on better posture.

Am i sorry for the lack of updates? to be honest, no. haha.

Summer sch has ended (duh)...thank god... this one was particularly hectic...thats what u get with 3rd year subjects i guess..

and Uni has started. 12 contact hours... BUT... most of my classes start late and end late with shitloads of free time in between...of all days.. wednesdays' the shittiest.... i start at 9... and end at 8pm *boohoo*....good part, i have time to study in the library as per my other free times...downside, i hate classes at 9... and i DETEST walking home in the cold at 8pm....especially with winter round the corner.

I have complaints! there are ABSOLUTELY no hotties ard in uni... ok... i blame part of that on the weird ass hours i get to uni... but seriously...havent seen a guy or girl that i'll take a double take or drool over. need eye candies!

oh... and i've been working at notties. pay's good compared to the rest of lygon... but shit if u compare it to hotels and retail... but at least its got the hours and the $ faciliates shopping. that place seriously have some regulars that show up 1-2X wkly without fail...some good lookin, some just weird... but all in all good experience.

hm.... nothing much has changed. for this semester i'm still as humsup, as much a shopaholic that i can afford to be, am still nocturnal, still wanna lose 20kgs, still ranting on and on about bad skin and who i wanna rape....only thing thats changed? lol, i'm actually getting chatted up by koreans on the tram.... good part was yeah... good for my ego boost... but the better part was: i dont' look THAT unapproachable or can't be stuffed after all! *phew*

oh wells.... messy post... incoherent sentences... gonna crash.

LAYER ONE: STATS
Name: Lib    & nbsp;
-Birth date: 10 June 1984

-Birth place: Singapore
-Current Location: Melbourne

-Eye Color: black    & nbsp;
-Hair Color: dark brown
-Righty or Lefty: Righty
-Zodiac Sign: Gemini

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
-Your heritage: Asian
-Shoes you wear today: my trusty Havaianas slippers
-3 things i did today: Job interview, ate cereals for breakfast, sit in front of the computer

-Your fears: no $, losing the people I love, gaining 20 kilos post pregnancy (if I do get married and get pregnant)

-Your perfect pizza: Mushroom, cheese & hot salami

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
-Your most overused phrase: fucking shit
-Thoughts first waking up: how long more do I have to snooze
-Your best physical feature: my smile… so enchanting ya
-Your bedtime: Varies depending on mood, season, stress level, location etc. right now I'm sleeping at 2am – 5am.    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
-Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-Adidas or Nike: indifferent
-Lipton Tea or Nestea: twinnings
-Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-Cappuccino or coffee: Cuppa. Skinny, no sugar

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
-Smoke: No
-Take showers: Yes. haha, the bathroom inspires me.
-Have a crush(es): Of course, who doesn't? could be HSH, but then again, i only wanna shag him =)
-Think you've been in love: Nah
-Like(d) high school: yes, fixed timetable, fixed subjects, and buncha good friends to hang out with, sec 2 was a blast, sec 4 was a joy, cheap canteen food. Basically low stress and fun! Ok.. cept for the 0’level part.. but hey, I did good! Haha so yeah high sch was great
-Want to get married: yes
-Motion sickness: No
-Think you're a health freak: Hell No. I’m a stress eater and yes, I do spend shitloads of money on junk food during exam periods.

-Get along with your parents: sorta
-Play an instrument: piano for a few years until I got straight 0s for my piano test.. haha too young to sit and practice piano for hours. Guzheng… yes i'm cheeena and i'm loving it!

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
-Drank alcohol: Yes…checking out pubs with lid

-Gone on a date: No
-Gone to the mall: sorta
-Been on stage: no
-Eaten an entire box of Oreos: haven’t bought them in ages
-Eaten sushi: Yes
-Gone skating: No
-Had a tan: no tans for me… I get heat rash
-Dyed your hair: No…my hair colour is au naturale

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
-Been trashed or extremely intoxicated? Not yet… only super tipsy… getting there

-Changed who you were to fit in: Not really. Lib is just lib.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
-Age you hope to be married: 27… 6 more years… *panic mode*
-Children: 2-3. At least a boy and a girl
-Describe your dream wedding: Haven’t thought about it. Prolly something low key and tasteful.
-How do you want to die: Peacefully
-What do you want to be when you grow up: Doesn’t matter as long as I’m happy and able to sustain my kinda lifestyle and fund my shopping… tai tai would be nice… suga daddys are welcome too right now!
-What place would you most like to visit: Sth Africa and Turkey again. Fiji, Dubai, and a tour of Europe

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
-Best eye color?: no preference

-Best hair color?: any… just no goth punk jet black look or bleached neon coloured hair
-Short or long hair: whatever suits the person
-Height: Taller than me. Above 6’ will be nice.
-Best first date location: cozy lounge or cafe tucked away in some obscure part of the city
-Articles of clothing: as long as he looks good, I really don’t care what brand or shit he wears.

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
-Number of bags i own: >10 …. Could add Hermes Birkins to my collection… any sponsors?
-Number of CD's: Mp3s people…
-Number of piercings: 2 earholes… that’s about it. Low pain threshold.
-Number of tattoos: None

to all my friends in Singapore & Melbourne,

Happy Chinese New Year!

I promise to update soon... soon...

I've come to realise that assumptions and expectations are a lethal combination, that a woman's intuition is almost 100% reliable, and that fate is an uncanny thing.

I've also learned that listening to WU BAi is an excellent way to de-stress and sort out my thoughts.

wham bamm and i'm back in melb. 5 wks of hols seemed to have just whizzed by. not too long ago, i was complaining about the humidity, typical singaporean behaviour, heat, lack of hunks and pint sized asians. now i'm complaining abt hot hot hot summer days, stupid flies and a life that seems to revolve around summer sch. its been 2 wks since i'm back, 2 wks since it was 2004. apologies for the lack of updates. i was busy shopping and eating before, now i'm just lazy. but anyways, instead of doing my readings and doing my tute work, i've chosen to blog!  (old habits like procrastinating die hard).

-while in Singapore-

a typical day in SG goes like this: wake up, enjoy breakfast that's already laid out on the table, shower, practice my guzheng, head out to shop and eat and shop and eat and shop, come home, have delightful home cooked meal, kick back and relax. all in all, my lifestyle was pretty healthy. i had a healthy sleep cycle from 12am - 8 am. i had sufficient exercise which consisted of cardio (shopping) and weights (carrying my shopping bags). i also had well balanced diet of artery clogging good authentic asian food and nourishing home cooked meals. oh and i did a fair bit of studying - basic theory. hehe i've successfully converted my aussie license to a full singaporean drivers.

-China-

headed to Shanghai/Hangzhou/Suzhou/ Wuxi/Nanjing for holidays with mom. finally been to shanghai. its a great city to shop in, although i personally prefer the peace and serenity that couples with great shopping in hangzhou. overall, china was awesome. food was good, weather was good (winter = no humidity = no bad skin/hair) and the toilets weren't as bad as other parts of china i've visited in the past. thumbs up.

-Xmas-

spent xmas eve karaokeing with my girls - huihui, sindy, nic. trotted about city and esplanade with our heels. damn it was tiring. but we were all dressed up and looking damn fine. had sumptous dinner at Chjimes. and ended up counting down to xmas by the pool with the company of vodka.

-bits & pieces-

for 5 wks, my humsupness and eyes had a well deserved break. there was absofuckinglutely no guys that deserved a second glance from me. no hunks. nada. there were however lots of guys who unshamelessly checked me out. with their i'm-gonna-eat-u-up-now look. its disgusting. LKY, with all the promotion of speaking good mandarin and family values and shit like that, maybe u shld come up with a compulsory lesson for guys called - checking out girls 101. u have no idea how much more i appreciate the abundance of hunks and their checking out skills in aust now.

-pple-

huihui: oh dear dear dear, u are my greatest ever shopping kaki. thank you for being there for me in orchard road. even if its the umpteenth time she's down in orchard/bugis, she's always there to shop with me. and yes, she's there to spend with me. put us 2 together and u get 2 hardcore shopaholics. i had fun doing our tai-tai day thing, our pedicures, our makan, phone chats, ur opinions on stuff thats on my mind, and i'm very glad to have been able to help provide some advice on stuff too. oh dear, u have no idea how much i miss shopping with u. oh..er.. i think i have a role in u gaining weight (if u did, from all the makan) or losing (from all the shopping).. and also the many many holes in ur pocket. but i know u love me right? hehehe. fyi. i'm still suffering from shock at the sight of my bank balance.

Reg: my buddy and now nanny to my turtle. babes, thanks alot for taking in my dear old turtle. its been great seeing u, fang, dot, spaz, hope, jess and all residing at ur place! its been great just hanging out fuss free and having lots of food yeah? hehe just make sure spaz doesn't rape my turtle. if not u'll become mother-in-law instead of nanny.

Sindy: 1 wk only! where got enough. well, glad that u've graduated and all. very very happy to see u in sg . hope u get a job soon, and hope hope hope u come back to melb soon ya, 2006 perhaps? take care, miss u. ps: ktv with u was awesome.

to all other pple: u know who u are, those that i've met up. some i see every 2 years, some i see quite often back in melb. it was great catching up and its great to have friends like u all.

Holidays over. i've had my fair share of fun, although i with it could have been longer. right now, my priority's summer sch. although i have to admit. its very annoying that i'm spending perfectly gorgeous sunny days in uni, while some of u are out there either holidaying or just bumming ard on a beautiful summer day. 5 more wks to go before exams. i am stressed.

-wrapping up-

i havent set out a list of new years resolution. in fact, i never do. at the back of my mind are the usual stuff like lose weight, tone up, study hard... 2004 was overall a good year, i can't go into specifics since i'm too lazy to recall. it was good,but wasn't fantastic.

Back in singapore, i tried the chinese fortune telling thing (qiu qian) for the very first time. part for fun, and part for probably trying to find some signs on what i should do about certain stuff. the readings made alot of sense to me.

in little india with rathi, the instant roadside fortune-telling that this old indian lady whom we donated to gave us hit the jackpot. she specifically mentioned about things that have been weighing us down.

all of them made alot of sense. i'm not superstitious. i know what i've got to do. on my way back to melbourne on a wet and gloomy summer day, i saw a rainbow among the clouds. i had a good feeling. and i've decided to do what my heart feels most comfortable with. perhaps opening some doors and closing some. a girls gotta do whats gotta be done sometimes.

thats all for now.

Oh dear. one of the world's most detached, un-patriotic Singaporean, aka me, has finally gotten my ass back to Singapore. feels abit weird to be frank. feels like i'm coming home (sg) from home (melb). yes i kinda miss melb in a funny way.

dont get me wrong. I'm glad to be back. after all its been 2 years. Was SO GLAD to see my mom, grandfolks, and my dear pup who hasn't aged one bit! and my terrapin whose forever laying unfertilised eggs. Its great to be able to wake up every morning and know that someone will fix breakfast for u and come home in the evening to home cooked meals.

Hm, 2 days in sg and i've already gulped down PLENTY OF GOOD FOOD. lets see, already whacked down roti prata, nasi briyani, fried prawn noodles, bar chor mee, oyster omelette, satay, sugar cane drink, pad thai, calamansi drink, gulab jaamun and heaps of grandma's cooking. yes thats just 2 days... and then now i'm FREAKED. why? because i went down to Orchard road today to browse around, checking out new stuff to add to my to-buy-list. there was plenty of lovely stuff thats way more affordable than what Melb has to offer. there were beautiful dresses that i would wear. there were funky shoes and bags that i wouldn't mind adding to the addition. Now there's only 2 problems. one minor and one major. the former being cash, i need a sugar daddy! as u can see, i walked into zara and already spotted SO MANY items i like... which all in all could set me back a few hundred bucks... and thats just 1 store out of the many many in orchard. u do the maths. tell me, i do need a platinum card and no baggage size limit! now. the latter part of the problem is SIZE. SINGAPOREANS and Asian ASIANS in general area just tooooooooo small. they're either pint sized, or skinny with no curves at all. and half the cool clothes on sale are a FREE SIZE, which translates to maybe about a size 10 or smaller in Melb. Now THAT IS SMALL. makes me feel abit like a giant. Not good. I need a miracle pill to lose 10 kilos and 10 inches off my body FAST. Oh gosh. and not to mention i've YET to wake up early enough to go jogging before the sun comes out and i start to melt. oh god... eating is a national pasttime for most singaporeans. i know the food portions small here but still.. with all those constant eating, i dont understand how they can remain so small. now i dont ask for much. just for me to fit into clothes i wanna buy, and for me to NOT gain weight with all the good food that i havent eaten. Buddha bless me.

Hm.. ok now too lazy to continue. will continue another day. zzzz time.

TAMADE. I just blogged like half a page worth of stuff. 1 click of a mouse n its gone. FUCK U u STUPID T-BLOG. TAMADE. if this was an essay. i would have STABBED myself by now.

i'm not feeling that stressed. but my skin is telling me i am. so i better to listen to it huh? not.

i have 3 looming zits on my forehead. 1 on my cheek. the last time i had this many pimple, i can't even remember. i am not amused by them.

my skin is blotchy and patchy. it is dry and oily at the same time. how oxymoronic can it get. my pores are dilating. i can sense that if i still dont do anything about it, a whole kampong worth of zits will sprout out very soon.

my eyes are getting droopier (is that even a word?). my eye bags are getting bigger. the dark eye circles are horrendous.

i've already put back 1 out of the 3 miserly kilos that i lost. now i'm just waiting to see when the other 2 will creep back.

my tummy is bulging. and i cannot be stuffed to suck it in. screw it.

what was once volumnous hair has now been weighed down by the humidity in the air. horrid melbourne weather.

i am also constipated. and given that i am anal-expulsive, u can tell i am not very pleased that i am not hitting my daily shit quota.

if u do see my on the streets, please do not freak out and run away. its inner beauty that counts right? NOT.

so if u do have any remedies for the aforementioned. and they do not require needles, scalpels or 45 minutes infront of the mirror painting my face. Please, feel free to tell me. i will find someone who will provide you with hours of sexual favours to repay your kindness.

Junk food is good. After months of abstaining from instant noodles, i finally had my Nissin Cup Noodle Laksa flavour. it is the best... top it off with half a safeway roast chicken (yes.. the one that has many chicken feathers...those puny ones) and that makes my unhealthy toxifying dinner orgasmic. (note: orgasmic results best achieved when attempted once in a gazillion years and preferably after numerous halluncinations about cup noodles). MSG can be so good.

Now lets see.. i'm supposed to be working on my final econometrics assignment. but the queen of procrastination has to live up to her name doesn't she. so here i am with a list of things i'd rather do instead of staring at the fucking-irritating-eviews -program:

• head down to ktv and belt out at the top of my lungs.


• lie on the couch and flip through what foxtel has to offer


• wax


• shave


• epilate


• tweeze


• do my nails


• vacuum


• watch porn


• make juice


• trot down to lidia's and irritate her


• hop over to nic's and go "haiz...sian" together


• pack my luggage and make believe its the 27th of November & i've aced all my exams


• make a list of things to buy


• hallucinate about food


• talk to my cousin

I'm quite sick of blogging at the moment (not that i've been blogging alot haha). Not too happenin' lately. what can i say? i've been a good girl and been going to classes... or at least making up for my tutes.... been going to the gym abit...yadda yadda yadda. life at uni is good. although this sem is ending toooo soon! i mean, issit already 11 out of 12 tutorials already? i actually like going to business finance tutorials! Buzz's quite a good tutor indeed

some brief updates:

In case u havent heard, I've decided to pay my homeland Singapore a visit! after 2 years of hardcore hibernation in good old melb, i'm finally getting my ass back! ahhh all those good food (oyster omelete, hokkien mee, prawn mee, longtong, mee rubus, satay, rojak, chicken rice, bbq, stingray bbq) orgasmic! n i do hope my good old richie still recognises me...i hope my 10 sec 1 sided phone convos to my dog has paid off all this while i called home *yes i actually talk to my dog on the phone. he's possibly the only male creature that has my 100% devotion*.... ahh going shopping with my girls, those late night movie marathons, sleepovers, eating, catching up.. looking forward. oh and did i mention my grandma makes really good chinese dessert, chinese kuehs, sambal pomfret, glutinous rice, braised duck/pork, basically she's one kick-ass cook! ah mah.. wo lai le!

Last night.. went for flare dance performance with lid. haha yes u are charming enough to score me a free tix *muackss*. was quite good.. they really put in alot of effort. except for 1 thing tho... majority of those performers looked so young... so pre-puberscent.... i kinda feel like some sick voyeur looking at them engaging in their 'sensual' moves.  man those paedophilles are really sick sick pple.

erm forgot what i meant to type.. ah wells, till next time.

song of the moment: Prince> the most beautiful girl in the world

when you allow yourself to take the back seat, sometimes you wind up wrapping yourself in a cocoon...only to realise that too late